Androgyny
by Kaitsurinu
Summary: A silly vidfic. A crossdressingformoney Duo comes to Heero's school and androgynous stuff ensues. Lipstick and melon insantiy ahead! PG for the drag. Enjoy, Yaoi fans and nonyaoi fans This one makes fun of yaoi, sort of.


**Androgyny**  
By Kaitsurinu  
  
[Opens with Duo combing his hair, silhouetted against the window with a red dawn. His violet eyes flash to the window as the bus jerks away suddenly. He throws on a black jacket and runs, putting his hair into a Kenshin-style ponytail. He catches the bus and jumps in.]  
  
When everything is going wrong  
  
[As the teacher introducing him, Duo leans against the wall. Heero, confused as to whether he's a boy or girl, gawks at him. Duo opens his eyes.]  
  
And you can't see the point of going on  
  
[Duo stands in the hall, looking between the girls' and boys' bathroom.]  
  
Nothing in life is set in stone  
  
[He grins slyly, flipping his hair back, and the boy's room's door swings open and close.]  
  
There's nothing that can't be turned around  
  
[Heero stands on the archery course, clad in military clothes, and narrows his Prussian eyes fiercely on the bull's-eye.]  
  
Nobody wants to be alone  
  
[Duo comes up behind him, with his hair in a tight-ponytail, mischievously looking over his shoulder. One of his bangs brushes Heero's neck.]  
  
Everybody wants to love someone  
  
[Heero's eyes go wide, shivering. The arrow is shot up through the trees toward the sun.]  
  
Out of the tree go pick a plum  
  
[Heero spins around, angry, and Duo laughs, pushing him back casually. The arrow crashes back down where he used to be.]  
  
Why can't we all just get along?  
  
[Heero, in his black jeans, closes his gym locker as he slips his tank over his neck. He turns to see Duo writing in lipstick on the mirror.]  
  
Boys  
Boys in the girls' room  
  
[Duo smiles and walks out of the girls' bathroom, stuffing the cranberry red lipstick in his pocket.]  
  
Girls  
Girls in the men's room  
  
[The mirrors say 'Androgyny.' Heero wipes his finger through the lipstick.]  
  
You free your mind in your androgyny  
  
[Duo sits behind Heero in class, blowing bubbles with his gum in his ear. Heero looks at him out the corner of his eye. Duo tilts his head back, grinning, as he pops another bubble.]  
  
Boys  
Boys in the parlor  
  
[Heero gets a nosebleed, then rushes to the bathroom. As he leans over the sink, he sees Duo open the door in the mirror.]  
  
Girls  
They're getting harder  
  
[Duo looks at Heero; Heero starts to get another nosebleed. Duo shrugs with a smug look and leaves.]  
  
I'll free your mind in your androgyny  
  
[Heero, under a cherry-blossom tree with pocky sticking jauntily off his lips, closes his study book. He sees a crowd gather around the plaza.]  
  
No sweeter a taste you could find  
  
[Duo, grinning at the school bully, slaps a good amount of money in the nearest empty ashtray. Then he snatches two melons from the picnic table and confidently shoves them down his shirt.]  
  
Than fruit hanging ripe upon the vine  
  
[Heero gets another nosebleed.]  
  
There's never been an oyster so divine  
  
[Heero returns to his cherry-blossom tree, but as he finally stops blushing, Duo laughs and drops the melons around him from his perch on the branch above.]  
  
A river deep that never runs dry  
  
[Rain lashes. Heero gets on the bus, soaking wet for the field trip.]  
  
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
  
[Duo looks up at him, grinning as he doddles.]  
  
What you need   
  
[Heero looks over, and sees Duo asleep against the window. The bullies in back snicker evilly.]  
  
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
What you need   
  
[In the art museum, Heero lags behind, gazing at each picture. Duo stands at the door and lays another bill on the pile, the bullies grinning madly.]  
  
The birds and bees they hum along  
  
[Duo flips his braid to his back, slipping the camera out of his pocket as he walks up to Heero.]  
  
Like treasure they twinkle in the sun  
  
[Heero looks innocently back to Duo as the American takes him by the shoulders and pulls him into a janitor closet.]  
  
Get on board and have some fun  
  
[Duo smiles, bangs hiding his face and pining Heero to the wall, as he pulls the light cord and the closet go dark.]  
  
Take what you need to turn you on  
  
[Duo walks calmly out and holds up a photograph to the hysterical bullies. Heero staggers out, dazed and sweating, and wipes something red from his lips on his arm.]  
  
Boys   
Boys in the girls' room  
  
[The photo is of Heero with a flushed expression and messily applied lipstick with Duo seductively looking at the camera, his braid wrapped around Heero's neck.]  
  
Girls  
Girls in the men's room  
  
[Duo looks back to Heero. Heero turns and runs out back in the rain, sitting on the bus alone.]  
  
You free your mind in your androgyny  
  
[Duo laughs and flips his braid behind his back.]  
  
Boys  
Boys in the parlor  
  
[Vacation at school. Heero rushes out, and Duo throws a book at him as he passes by and ignores him. Heero doesn't react. Duo frowns and scratches his nose.]  
  
Girls   
They're getting harder  
  
[Duo stands in his room again, fixing up his hair, silhouetted against the lights of Mardi Gras in his window.]  
  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your mind  
  
[Heero, maneuvering his jeep through the less crowed streets, sees a familiar braid. Traffic stops and he pauses near the person. Duo turns and smiles.]  
  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your  
  
[With Duo in full drag, he grins playfully as Heero eyes up his bust, confused. He then pulls his collar out, revealing two melons and slaps the full wallet in his pocket.]  
  
Boys  
Behind closed doors and under stars  
  
[Heero gets yet another nosebleed and guns it as traffic clears up, leaving Duo in the dust, his highlighted red hair blowing behind him.]  
  
Girls  
It doesn't matter where you are  
  
[Heero speeds through the back roads, leaving the bright colors of the cities behind. He sighs and wipes the blood off his nose, adjusting the rearview mirror. His eyes go wide.]  
  
Boys  
Collecting jewels that catch your eyes  
  
[Duo sits on the back of the jeep. He turns and laughs.]  
  
Girls   
Don't let a soul mate pass you by  
  
[Heero stands at the manager's desk of his apartment, frantically searching his pockets for money. Duo leans against the desk and waves his wallet in his face. Heero reaches but misses.]  
  
Boys in the girls' room  
Girls in the men's room  
  
[Duo grins evilly; it cuts to a pair of stiletto heels walking down the street.]  
  
You free your mind in your androgyny  
  
[Duo walks up to the person in heels and stuffs money into their pocket. He then looks at them and bursts out laughing.]  
  
Boys in the parlor  
They're getting harder  
  
[Heero frowns and pulls his skirt down further, dressed in full drag. A few men at an outside bar smile at him. Heero gets a nosebleed and clumsily runs.]  
  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your mind  
  
[Heero sits, hand over half his face and still beet red, in Sex Ed class. Duo can't hold back his smile as the teacher lists sexualities on the blackboard. As the teacher exits temporarily, he takes the red lipstick and writes 'Androgyny.']   
  
Boys in the girls' room  
Girls in the men's room  
  
[Duo tosses the lipstick to Heero.]  
  
You free your mind in your androgyny  
  
[Duo writes on the mirror in the boy's bathroom in blue lipstick, as it runs out. He curses and turns to see Heero walk in.]  
  
Boys in the parlor  
They're getting harder   
  
[Heero gives no emotion; he tosses a green lipstick to Duo and he catches it, looking confusedly at him.   
  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your mind  
  
[Heero takes out a black one and starts writing. Duo smiles and writes too.]  
  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your  
  
[Heero writes 'Boys' on one side of the mirror.]  
  
Boys  
  
[Duo writes 'Girls' on the other.]  
  
Girls  
  
[Duo bites his tongue and tilts his head. Heero smiles tiltedly then reaches up to the mirror.]  
  
Boys  
  
['Boys' and 'Girls' is smeared together in a red swirl. Duo puts his arms behind his head as they leave and closes the door with his foot.]  
  
Girls  
  



End file.
